dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
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