I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
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