bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
