I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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