He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
