Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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