Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
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