Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
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I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
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Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him