Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
