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Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
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