He is such a slut. More and more my type.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
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