Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
