I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Randomize
