hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Randomize
