Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Randomize
