farters have to be the big spoon...
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
