It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
