His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Shame - the story of my life.
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