Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
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