on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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