32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Randomize
