Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
