Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
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