david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Randomize
