Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
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