problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
