This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
I forgot how hot balto sounded
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Randomize
