Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Randomize
