I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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