You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
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