Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Randomize
