My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
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