do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Randomize
