Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Randomize
