I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Randomize
