she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Randomize
