i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
