So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
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