I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
