I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
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