He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
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I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
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He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
True college students do jello shots in the library
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