Your mouth is God's brothel.
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
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