Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Randomize
