Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize