i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Randomize
