he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Randomize