Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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