i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
so much tequila, so little girl.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
