Even water is tasting like jack daniels
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
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