I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Randomize
