So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
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Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
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The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
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