Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
