she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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