Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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