My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Dear god my vagina.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
