Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
