btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
There r osticjed everywhere
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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