All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
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