He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
