i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
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