found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
I woke up under a house in Key West
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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