You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I don't deserve a penis
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
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