she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Randomize
